Tips for your Missionary's Reentry.

TIPS FOR YOUR MISSIONARY'S REENTRY

 

1. SHOW AN INTEREST.

What your missionary has left their home country to go and do matters extremely to them (they would not leave if it didn't) and not asking about stories from their trip, not wanting to see their pictures and hear every little detail, etc. is hurtful, can be relationally damaging, and can make coming back even harder. Show you care (even if you don't - and if that's the case, ask Jesus why and for a heart that does care). Everyone existing on the planet wants to know other people care about what they do and who they love. Do everything you can to show that you do.

2. MAKE ACCOMMODATIONS

Perhaps your missionary is back earlier than planned due to political reasons/safety, sickness, or whatever. Regardless of the reason for reentry, chances are they will not have a home to go to, they won't have a job (may not want to get a job), and all their resources (and some of yours) were spent on another continent. Work with them. Love them with a grace that only comes from Jesus. They need you to make those kinds of provisions. It makes their life so much easier if these things are already in place before they even board their flight home. Airport pickup is another thing. Family members and friends should make every effort to be there.

3. DEAL WITH EMOTIONS

Your missionary will most likely be a mess for a while upon reentry. Maybe there are now people they love that they have left behind who are now on the other side of the planet. Visual sensory issues of their surroundings will most likely be the first they deal with. Most likely they feel like they've landed on another planet. It's great to love them where they are without becoming argumentative when it comes to their views. You need to realize they have changed in their time away. Here's why: they've seen things they cannot unsee (i.e. kids with legs blown up and put back together, sickness and disease, poverty unlike they've ever seen, demonic activity).

They will either come back feeling guilty, grateful, pissed or all of the above. They may feel guilty because they have so much, grateful for what they do have and for the chance to go, or pissed because it is the way it is and seems like you don't care or it wouldn't be that way in their mind.

If they have been around extreme poverty, ways that people spend their money could be another cause for strong feelings. Grocery shopping may not be the same mundane thing for them. You may now be rich in their sight. That $20 you just spent on makeup, cigarettes, or New Years Eve party face masks could have fed that starving family they were trying to find help to feed.

Attitudes about the American church may be another. Perhaps they've been in an area where Christians are under extreme persecution for their faith and now church seems dull with all the flashy stage lights. Perhaps they miss the passion they witnessed where they were.

These things happen (fortunately and unfortunately) to be a part of the new package. Emotions can be raw and they are real. Encourage them in healthy ways to cope with all the stresses of returning. And give them time but not too much space as these emotions can turn into severe depression and/or suicide. Research the warning signs as missionaries while they know the truth are not immune to these thoughts as Satan and his demons attack everyone. Be in their stuff whatever they are feeling.

4. PRAY

Hopefully you joined the team in praying for them leading up to their departure and while they were away. They need for you to pray for them in their return. It's a big deal to them that you are on your knees for them. Lift them up and place them in the best place they can be - in Jesus' hands.

Trust in the Lord.

 

 

There are days when you just lay in the snow, stare at the blue-musky-cloudy sky above you, remember being blanketed by a clear sky of stars as you were nearing your sleep to the listen of tiny running baring feet in the street below the verandah you were laying on, in a country you love that is halfway across the planet from where you are now (you were soaking in these last moments knowing this day of coming back earlier than thought may soon come), and you breathe in, create joy in the moment you're in, permit yourself to laugh at yourself as you flap your arms and move your legs to make the silly snow vision-ed angel you're making now, and you are glad to have lived it.

Today is one of those days.

 

I don't know what is happening in life.

 

I smile at Him, though my heart breaks, curl myself up as I am completely stretched out on this cold earth, and I dare ask why my life is so hard. I'm reminded of Paul and his journeys and how he had to tear himself away.

 

My latest journal find during a trip to Wally was a God-thing. It was the only one on the shelf, it happens to be my color, and the cover is just timely in this season of transition.



 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding."

- Proverbs 3:5

Transitioning: prayers, gratitude, and a fro.

Let there be laughter - among this VERY cold snow (5 inches of it and counting I've heard).  ;)  I took my braids out last night and ended up with my first fro ever!!  (It took me over an hour to take them out!) 

My sister says I'm just bringing back the 90s.  :)  80s?  Lol.

I appreciate your prayers as I continue adjusting to life back
in the States.  It matters. 

I really started missing my kids late last night (after bragging on myself not losing it at life group lol) and I grieved not being able to say goodbye to my kids at the school before I left.  They were on break the week prior and we just ran out of time doing everything else the following Monday.  By the time I was able to get to the school, they had already gone home.  It's hard not getting to say bye but perhaps getting to say bye would have been harder.  I did get to go on a home visit to one of my students during the break and when I brought up the truth of not being able to extend my visa, she started to cry. 

"Izosh," I told her (which means "be strong").

I miss them.  I miss doing handclaps with Habesha and Sudanese.  I miss their hugs and the high fives.  I miss nearly being pulled to the ground by our KG students as they were so welcoming and just wanted to give me a kiss on the cheek as I entered through the gate.  I miss watching children run to me as they saw me coming when I was on the street.  It really happened.  I'm so glad I was able to go and to fight for them, and the fight continues.  For those experiences, I am grateful. 

I love my family and friends who pray and put up with me as I go through these transitions in having more than one home.  Thanks for your love, your hugs, your patience and your attempts at understanding with me!         

Besufekad: autistic child left alone with young cousin while parents work.

Besufekad Yohannes

 

 

Besufekad is a sweet four year old boy who has been in the sponsorship program for half a year without sponsors. While he has not been diagnosed by a doctor, it is believed that he has some form of autism as he cannot speak nor can he eat by himself. There has been some improvement in his disability as he is starting to call out for his parents, but that is all he can manage to speak. He is currently living with his mom and his dad, as well as his one brother and his sister (who are older than he is). His parents are both daily laborers who work 12 hour days. Since the family is struggling to make ends meet, they leave the four year old child with his eight year old cousin (as neither are enrolled in school) to watch him while they work. Monthly rent is 300 birr, just around $15 USD.

When I visited the boy my last day in Ethiopia, he was running around wearing only a tee shirt. Clothes, food, and a mattress are the current immediate needs for this family as the children are sleeping on the floor. I would also suggest a daycare should he find a sponsor so that he is not left alone with an eight year old who should not be forced to watch him anyway. If another sponsor were found, while the cousin is not in the BCI program, we may be able to find a school to enroll him in should someone be willing to cover the monthly fee. For BCI Academy, that fee is about 380 birr, or just under $20 USD a month.

If you are interested in helping this family, and helping Besufekad to live a healthier, more stable life, please contact me for further information.

Why the men of God need to be the men God has called them to be.

Hiwot Semeneh

 

"How do I minister to this family?" were among my thoughts during this home visit. Hiwot and her family's story is a heartbreaking one. Hiwot is an 8 year old child living with her mom and younger sister Matogas. BCI only accepted Hiwot as a child eligible for sponsorship as the sister is being helped by another organization. Hiwot is a grade 2 student. She would attend BCI but separating the girls is troublesome for the mom as responsibility is placed on Hiwot to help with her little sister as her mom is sick with complications due to HIV quite frequently.

Hiwot's dad is alive but there is no communication there. Here's a part of their story. When the mom was 9 years old, her family tried to engage her in an arranged marriage. She was moved from that area to get away from that situation. She moved to Addis Ababa and when she was 16 year old, she was raped and this is how Hiwot was conceived.

Some time later she met a man who was interested in helping her and took her and the child in as his own. However when the relationship progressed and the dad found out about the second pregnancy, he left the family.

Hiwot has been in the program for one year without sponsorship. Her favorite subject is English Grammar while Spoken is her least favorite. If she were to travel, she would go to China but couldn't tell us why. Her favorite food is eggs. When she is not in school, she plays or she studies, that is if she is not caring for her mom.

Current immediate needs include your prayers, a school fee of 380 birr (close to $40 USD) for the sister to join school at BCI with her older sister, rent of 300 birr per month ($15 USD) and food. The mother was very upset upon the home visit as she had asked the father to pay for the school fee but he refused to pay it. If you are interested in helping this family, contact me for more information.

Bemenet Olana

Bemenet Olana lives with her mom and her siblings. Her father is not in the home as he is disabled. He lives in a government camp in Addis Ababa as he was a soldier. Bemenet sees her dad monthly or every 15 days. The mom was not at home the time of the visit as she was at work. Bemenet is 12 years old and attends a government school where she is in 6th grade. Her favorite subject is math and her least favorite is English. She wants to be an engineer in the future.

When she is not in school, she helps her family and she studies. In the summer, she will play with her friends and she studies for her next year of classes. She is very smart. She stays in Debre Zeyit when school is not in session. If she were to travel she would go to London. If she were to live there, she would miss Ethiopian holidays. When asked her favorite holiday, she replied Christmas, Easter and the New Year. Easter is her most favorite.

When asked to describe herself, she said she loves school, she loves her family and friends, and her social life is good. The social worker said she likes to help other people. For example, if an older person needs a seat in the taxi, she will move so they can sit down. When asked what she is good at she said she's good at dancing. She has no fear in travel to the moon or other places in outer space.

Bemenet has been in the program for a year and a half but still has not been chosen for sponsorship. There are 5-6 people in the family living in the home with about 30 people living in the compound. They do not own the home they are living in. Extended family are letting them live there for free. Currently, her immediate needs include a backpack, but the family also needs a place in which to live and income to be able to pay their rent. Money for travel to see her dad more frequently would come as a surprise I think. Her favorite things to do with her family are just being together, joking and talking with each other.

If you are interested in helping this family raise Bemenet, please contact me for more information.

Fanu and Asnakech Chuchu

Fanu and Asnakech Chuchu's story is a sad one. Their dad passed away and after the mom remarried, she married a man struggling with addiction who did not make the best decisions when it came to the girls. He did not want them around nor did he want them to attend school. The mom has them live with their grandma, Gudo, for this reason. The girls only see their mom 2 or 3 times in a year. The girls live with their grandma in a home free of rent as they are living in the house as a guard. They have lived in the current home for 3 months.

Fanu Chuchu is a 12 year old girl attending a government school in a rural area. She is a grade four student and studies hard to do well on her exams. She and her 11 year old sister, Asnakech live with their grandma. Fanu's favorite color is red and her favorite animal is the lion. If she were to describe herself she would say she likes helping others and she is more outgoing than her sister. If she were to travel anywhere in the world she would go to America because she likes it. She would miss her culture and her family if she were to go. Her favorite class is English while her least favorite subject is math.

Asnakech is 11 years old and also attending a government school. She is a grade 4 student whose favorite subject is math and her least favorite class is Oromiya. Her favorite color is yellow and her favorite animal is the cat. She would also go to America if she were able to travel anywhere in the world and she would also miss her family and the culture. When asked how she would describe herself she said she likes to play with her friends and she likes helping others. She is more quiet than her sister Fanu.

Both girls speak Oromifa, another language in Ethiopia. Currently BCI only teaches classes in Amharic which would make it harder for them. Perhaps after they learn Amharic they will transfer to BCI Academy. If the girls were to be sponsored, they would tell their sponsors thank you and tell them about Ethiopian culture talking about how they get together for coffee ceremonies. They enjoy playing soccer, going to church where they are members of the church's choir and Asnakech likes studying.

As for current needs, medically the family is doing fine although the grandma is aging and says she is tired. The girls need new clothes and shoes as well as perhaps another mattress as the three of them sleep on one bed together. Rent is also a problem as they are now living as a guard in an unfinished house for free. This is meant only to be a temporary place for them so in time they will need a new place. If you would like to help these girls, please contact me for more information.